I know it's been like FOREVER since I've posted..and I'm sorry...but don't get your hopes up...I've become a MYSPACE cult member and I like it. At least at this point I don't have the NEED to be on daily multiple times a day. I've conqured that. But I DO like it over there, so Check that page for updates and how everything is going with me. If I can, I will get on here a post a lil somethin-somethin as well, but seeing as I leave Wednesday for Japan (my how time flies) I don't know how that's going to go. I'm headed to Matsusaka City in Mie Prefecture, I can't wait! I leave Wednesday and arrive Thursday (at like 5am our time, 6pm theirs). That's basically it. I have to leave the doggie with friends, and I'm just SUPER excited. Wish me luck!

ja!
Kohaku (Amber in Japanese)

If you want to see the new edition to my family, check out my myspace site and you'll see the adorable darling sleeping ever so peacefully (as she is right now...poor baby! I know I haven't been posting lately..my bad..I've become a myspace addict...a friend of mine is leaving myspace for that reason...I guess I'd get into more trouble with it too if I had access at work (which I really don't...unless I borrow a friends pda or something) So it makes sense, but it allows me to keep in touch with friends I might otherwise not be in touch with. Sad no? Well...the internet keeps us all connected. Other than the new puppy (well, she's not a puppy exactly, she's 2.5yrs) I've just been working, working, working some more, bowling..and I even shot pool the other nite (I wasn't drunk enough to do REALLY well, but I won like 5 out of 9 or 10 games...so Id didn't do TOO bad...but bad enough...ah well. I'm tired as hell so I'm heading to sleep, I just wanted to sent out a quick message... feel free to check the myspace site on the reg..cause lately I've been multiposting there...I'm trying to keep up both...but one can't always do everything..I'll do better.aiightdenpeace

The evil holiday is coming. The most commercialized holiday on the face of the earth. Where more relationships are either made or broken, and it will set the tone for the entire year. Do I sound bitter? Probably...I've been dumped on, right before, or had someone leave town or something to prevent the holiday from being celebrated. I wanna go back to elementary school where EVERYBODY got a valentine, and we had a party with cupcakes and candy. Actually, I just feel that if you're in a relationship, you should treat every day like valentines day. maybe do something special on the holiday...but flowers, candy, cards, romance, it should be an "all the time" thing. I've helped more of my guy friends get BIG brownie points (or just flat out getting the lay of a lifetime) because I helped them figure out exactly what to do to make it special for her...if I can't get it, I hope SOMEONE does. Jaded I may be...but not evil. I do not however like the fact that it's RAMMED in everyone's faces....look at the grocery stores, hallmark, hell even in front of gas stations. I'm going into hiding and not coming out. Actually, I'm working tomorrow (normally I'd be off)...so I get to see all the happy couples taking trips with each other to show their love, or propose, or elope in vegas. Sickening. I'll do my best not to curse them all out. I'll even smile. Actually though at this point I'm still deciding if I'm going to do anything that evening. I've had an offer to hang, with a very good friend....but my mom was saying something about doing a family dinner so I may have to pull a "family thing". We'll see...it all depends on how work goes down. Anyway, I've got to be at work at 6am, so I'm going to bed. Deuces.

Make love to my mind, let your words stroke the embers of my desire into a roaring blaze, whisper tantalizing tidbits of all you want to taste tease my imagination with fantasies destined to become our reality.

Make love to my heart, let your emotions rule, expressing in the dark everything too intense for the light, communicate to me everything you feel, using every part of you make your love fireworks, decorating the night

 And then...Make Love to my body, let me be your canvas, and your tounge paint a masterpiece, let your fingers stroke my skin, as if you played beehtoven on the ivory and black keys, open my eyes, my heart, my arms, my thighs, and feel every part of you, Touch me, tease me, feel me, love me until we both explode, then hold me...until the morning comes.

copyright 2006 A. Grigsby aka Cinnamon Skye

 Just did this to prove I'm not COMPLETELY without emotion...what do you think?

Feeling fairly random...I finally got my hair permed, so it's now straight. YEA! Now I feel like I look like something...I was having some issues for a good minute with that. A friend of mine is at the Pistons/Hawks game on floor seats....I'm SOOOO jealous. MY Pistons, grinding the Hawks into poweder (not that there's much to deal with ANYWAY...the Hawks SUCK!!!) I'm overjoyed that the Steelers won the superbowl...but with two primarily defensive teams playing, I wasn't expecting fireworks...didn't get any either, but that's alright. Game was still good, and up intil the game ended and I was decended upon by this evil, evil sinus or cold or whatever I do seem to have recieved...I was happy. Not that I'm unhappy, just annoyed at being sick. I'm working extra shifts tomorrow, so I'll be going into work at 6am. (total ick) Which means in layman's terms, I've got to leave for work at like 4:40am. so that I can get to the parking lot before 5:30 and be at the actual airport by 6. I'm not particularly looking forward to that, but one does what one must. I need the extra hours. And at least I'll be off work at 7:30...so I still have my evening..and work on Thursday doesn't begin til 2. so I'll be alright. Then Thursday night is bowling night. YEA! I love bowling night. It's fun. I'm getting better and better. I wanted to go tonight...but I don't think I will cause I've got work early as hell (meaning I wake up at like 3:50 to get everything done. TOTAL suckfest. Ah well...I'm doing what has to be done.
Someone asked me earlier today, what my "soulmate" was going to be like. (cause obviously I haven't found him yet...but I'm not looking, he's supposed to find me.)I never actually answered the question, but I will here. I'm not going to go into specifics of the physical...but he'll have nice eyes, and a nice smile...those are important to me. Not that they have to be hazel or green or something like that...he doesn't even have to be a pretty boy...(Lord save me from pretty boys!) I just need to be attracted to him. He's going to be fun, loyal, sweet, romantic, intelligent, and have a great sense of humor. He'll be a freak...and open to trying new things...hee hee hee..yes in every sense of the phrase. He'll have to at least tolerate bowling, cause I LUV bowling...and he'll have to understand the relationship between me and my writng. He'll like to hold hands and other assorted pda rituals, and not be afraid to let people know he's with me. He'll have a relationship with God, and be computer literate...(random I know) He'll be himself...I don't know. If said soulmate actually exists... (and wasn't hit by a bus) then the chances of me finding him are fairly low with the 6 billion people on the planet and even fewer that I may actually come into some kind of contact with. So...jury's out on that one...I may be a hopless romantic hoping to someday find him...but I'm jaded enough to know it's just another fantasy. Yikes..I'm fairly morbid...ah well. That's enough for now. I'm just going to post this and head to bed soon. (gotta get up early) Deuces.

I managed to get away with only selling 2/3rds of my soul to the devil in order to get the Superbowl off...and I STILL will only get to enjoy so much of it because I'm in PAIN!  It's just not fair! Eve is the ulitimate bitch and when I see her when I die I'm going to bitch-slap her for putting me through this hell every damn month! I'm rooting for the Steelers (I have a friend who plays for them...) MY team (my Lions...NO comments I'm a fan wether they win or lose) wasn't going to make it....but it should still be a good game...and the Broncos or Patriots are NOT there!!!! There is a God! It sucks because you're supposed to watch the superbowl with lots of food and lots of alcohol...and being in pain...I don't know if I'll be able to stomach either one! How horrible....but I'm a trooper..I'll survive. One of best friends' fathers  invited me to their place to watch the game. I think he wants to quiz me about Japan cause now my best friend is applying...and he complained he hasn't seen me in forever...and I also get to get preached to for a little bit...it's all good. He's good peoples...besides, "mom" and the Superbowl will keep him from grilling me the whole time. Now I have to be social....but I'm feeling slightly better so it may be doable.

On another note...one of the books I just finished reading Life is So good is about this guy who is the grandson of a slave and didn't learn to read til he was 98, and wrote the  book when he was 101. It was HELLA interesting...and it makes you realize that things aren't as bad now than when he was growing up. If he IS dead...he just died a few years ago...so he saw all the civil rights stuff and the book opens with him witnessing his friend get lynched because he was wrongly accused of rape.  Makes you realize just how much we take for granted..and how blessed we are to be able to walk down the street, go anywhere we please...hell...to be able to go to school and have the opportunities and jobs we DO have. It sometimes puts things in perspective. I gave it back, but I may just have to go find it in a book store (like I need an excuse to go to a bookstore) just to have and read every now and again.  On average I read about a book or so a day..and I literally will lose my mind if I can't read anything. I've read the toothpaste box and tube...that's how bad it is...but there are worse things to be addicted to. I've got some stuff to take care of today, so I've got to run...Deuces

but for some strange reason I feel the need to post again...especially strange since I just posted on my myspace site. I need to do some serious work on that site...it's so bland. but I think that I'm just an idiot right now cause I've been unable to figure anything out, I feel like a complete idiot...but it's all good...but at this time of the morning, it's not surprising that I'm unable to figure anything out. I feel drained and a little out of it...but I'm still good, and I'm still attempting to get stuff done so that I can leave...it's kinda weird...people figure things out after the fact more often than not. Hindsight is always 20/20..and it's really unfair.  Why isn't there a reset button on life? Why do we always make the wrong choices? I guess that's the part of "free will" that bites you in the ass. Not that I want God or anyone to just run my life...but it'd be nice to have a machine or life be like a choose your own adventure book where you can flip ahead to see what the consequences of your actions will be. But it's really weird ....I've got other friends who are either finding their supposed "soulmates" and finding happiness, and those that are having the opposite problem...dealing with all the wrong people, and it just makes them unhappy, or the ones that are just running away from relationships altogether. Why do people feel the need to be justified in who they are by the have or lack of someone in their life? Just be happy with YOU.  I just want everyone to be happy. I'm happy, basically...just thinking way too much and trying to force another poem..cause I've got it in my head, but it's not coming out right...I'm just going to let it alone for awhile. It'll come when I least expect it.  As I'm writing this I'm not sure if I'll even post it, but I probably will cause, why the hell not? I've been spending too much time letting my mind wander instead of hearding it in the direction it needs to go. The biggest problem with it's wandering, is it doesn't stay on anything for longer than 2 seconds, and as I'm having a thought it dissapears...I've lost about 20 poems in the last 2 days because I can't keep it. I keep waking up hour after hour and then can't get back to sleep...I don't know why...look at the time. it's 3 am, I should be asleep...but here I am posting another journal entry that may not even be seen...why in the hell do I want it to be seen? I have no clue...I was in such a good mood when I began to write, and now it's gone downhill....and I think I know why....damn hormones! I think I need to go into hiding  for a week because I'm about to get an unfortuate visitor..and THAT'S why I can't sleep and my emotions are becoming unraveled....yeah, sorry if some of you didn't want to know that. That's just the way it is.... Well, I do know what to do about my particular problem...I need cuddles. I just want to be held for a minute...well, before I incrimiate myself any further this evening,...morning, I'm going to go to bed and attempt to get some sleep before I....I'm just going to leave that there. It's time for bed...tomorrow when I'm coherent (and personalble) I'll probably edit or delete this...but until then it's here. Me being random to the fullest. Anyway, I'm gone and I'll be back later. Deuces

Well, it's official now. Yesterday, I received the packet from Nova (the company I'll be teaching with in Japan) With the paperwork I have to fill out for my work visa and the paperwork I have to get signed by a doctor. (ick! I HATE going to the doctor...I only go to my gyno...cause I'm never sick...just check me out, give me my clean bill of health, and a perscription for bc and painkillers..simple) so the only thing they haven't told me yet is what city (once I get the visa done, I find that out) and I've got to STILL get my passport. Which means I need to fly down to miami and get it at once cause I've got to have it before Feb17, and if I get it done the normal way (although much cheaper) I won't have it in time (although if I had done it right after my interview, I STILL wouldn't have it in time.) ah well. I'm excited...this means I'm really going. Yea! I spent yesterday playing videogames with my bro (new Gauntlet), running errands for my mother and the business (personalized poetry from the heart www.symphonicexpressions.com), reading and studying...and all around just chilling....(and napping...napping is GOOD). It was a nice day off...back to work today. I'm in a good mood though. Don't know if I'll do anything after work today..I'll have to see.

On to my other topic...MySpace is a black hole! It's sucking in EVERYONE I know! I just found out today that some of my buddies from college are on myspace...Do you know what this means? I have a myspace acct...I've had it for over a year, have I done anything with it? hell no! even my brother has a myspace acct....I've tried and tried to stay away...but I don't think it's going to happen. If I want to stay in touch with a lot more people (and comment on their stuff, and everything...and have others locate me) I'm going to have to bite the bullet and...actually do something with my myspace acct. *waves goodbye as she's sucked into the exteneded psychoness that is myspace) So once I get it set up (give me a few days) it's CinnamonSkye of course. I won't abandon bravejournal cause it's fun...but I will (in this case anyway) submit to inevitibility and join the cult. rats! I'll not drinking the myspace koolaid!!! But in some ways...this could be fun...hee hee hee *maniacal laughter*. That's all for today, gotta run to work. ja!

No not another alliteration poem...I just woke up weird today. I don't feel bad...I don't feel good either, I'm kinda just here...today just feels totally blah. I need to be attempting to eat something before work, but at the moment, I'm just out of it. I'm tired, but that's my own fault for hanging out last night...but I still got a good amount of sleep...more than I get some days...so what's my malfunction? I'm just kinda here today. Not fish nor fowl I guess. I hope I can bring myself out of this funk...it's never any fun.  Anyway, gotta run (work) so I guess I'll elaborate on this weird funk later. Hopefully I get out of it. I can't deal with this for too long, I'll go batty. If I'm lucky, a new poem or something will come out of this.

ja mata!

As time takes it's mighty march toward the eventual end of existance, every evening, all afternoons, and most mornings I take the time to sit silently sit still and muse for a moment in my madness, yes, muse in my madness. For from the moment my mind amazingly awakened in a bright burst of thoughtful thinking to random ramblings of naughty and nice nonsense as well as psychotic silliness, sweet seductions, and super successful stratagies I plan to put into practice to TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! or maybe manhandle a monster or two to take a cue from Scooby Doo catching cartoons candid views vying for victory over an omnipresent originator of somone's or socitey's symbol of sanity that my rambunctious reality refuses to represent, finding fun in fountians, keeping chaos clean, bringing back mindless mayhem of smurfs, snorks, and She-Ra who I wanted to be. Systematically sending siblings somewhere to save the sanctity of my space!...and returning reluctantly to my daily dose of duties that maturity makes an eventual evil of living life when one was not born into the luxurious lifestyle of the rich and famous...alas, I still strategize and honor happiness however it finds me maximizing the moments spent musing in my madness.



Copyright 2006
A. Grigsby

Alliteration always makes me much more managable. lol...sorry I like alliteration, and that was the only constant for me in this one...it's point was to let my madness take it where it may, comments, questions, contact info for a good shrink?